Minggu, 07 September 2014

Letter to Heaven

My Heaven, I miss you.
Going back to around 11 years ago, when I had to resist my tears while kissing you. That's my first and last kiss for you.

Still remember... How people embraced me at the moment. They said, I'm a good and tough little-girl and if I cried, then you'd be sad.

Okay... I didn't cry. But the moment changed the idea about life to 11-years-old me. I didn't wanna live long, what I said to myself. I'm afraid... Afraid that my another beloved people will leave me and I can't resist my tears anymore when it happens. Afraid feeling grew into scared one, I even asked God to pick me up first before He does it to my another beloved ones. Little-me realized that it's such a selfish one, yet she really scared to feel another loss. For weeks, I couldn't sleep because of that paranoia.

But, magically I healed it. Busied with my homeworks, new friends, new house, new school, good scores, and so on. Your photo on my desk was enough. You're so far away yet I have many people that love me here.

My Heaven... You used to tell me this, "if someone who have passed away really love us, they won't come into our dreams." Then I asked you back with a why. With a smile you answered me, "because they don't wanna make us miss them more and feel sad, honey..."

That's why you never appeared in my dreams? Even once, you never. Amazing how you stick to ur words for years. You must love me much. I know, right?

Time is up and I know what to do now. I have to come back home, meet the dining and living room. I wanna come back home, so that I can feel you there.

Kamis, 04 September 2014

Hey Love

Okay, I stop.

I've tried my best but I feel like I dream alone about this gigantic love. Anyway, this is a love.

I offer you thanks and sorry, Love.
Pick one that you think fits best as a final word from me. Or you can pick both of them if you want to. Treat yourself.

Nice to meet you, Love.
You're insanely awesome. I have no idea about ingredients you have thus give such an addiction on me. Caffeine, maybe? Or it's kind of nicotine? You know, I don't.

I also ask myself many times about reasons to feel you yet I don't find any, even just one. People say that's a sign of a true love. I don't know, you judge.

Hey Love, here we are.
I give these wings back to you. I stop flying, now. With this fear of height and no one waits for me between the sky and the ground, I have no guts to fly.

I write on a piece of paper, fold it into a paper plane and ask the wind to fly it to you. Thanks and/or sorry from me for everything I did when feeling you, Love.

Rabu, 03 September 2014

Dear Time

I don't know whether Time is my friend or enemy. Whether it will keep silent or do its job -- revealing everything. It never told me. And I really can't read a thing named Time.

Oh Time, I know you're busy. That's why you walk so fast, right? But, Time... Can we talk a bit?

If cooking you delicious foods will make us sit together and be friends, I'll learn cooking. If we can't even have a chit-chat about your favorite things, could you please write on a piece of paper then throw it to me while you're walking and passing me by?

I'd love to know you, Time.